Is your life balanced? If you’re a normal healthy, happy, productive adult, I’d say it’s probably not. So why is it that so many of us feel that we need to find balance?
Today I was interviewed as part of a national survey of women business owners on life and work balance. It’s a subject that I’m asked about quite often and which I, in turn, aim to support women with in their own lives.
I’m not sure that my point of view was what the interviewers were after.
You see, I believe that balance is a bit of a myth and a great way to feel that you are not doing life right.
My definition of Balance is:
Doing what I love, when I love, with those I love. That’s it. It’s not about doing everything in equal proportion. Sometimes work will be the focus. Other times family will take its place. Another time, relaxation. But whatever is most important at the time is what takes up most of my energy.
If you define balanced as an even distribution of effort, resources, time with family/spouse, time with self, health, relationships, learning etc. then I truly believe you will set yourself up to fail.
Ten out-of-balance years of growth and success
Since I started my business in 1994 (and even before that) I can hardly say that I have felt like I had a balanced life.
For my first ten years of business (as the owner of an events and publishing business) I worked 7 days a week, I spent most nights in hotel rooms, ate whatever was available and did everything it took to grow my business, to do the work that needed to be done and to maintain some sanity.
As a result of years of working at break-neck speed my health suffered and I was exhausted most of the time. BUT, I also achieved huge business goals that I would not have done had I not put in the time and effort. I couldn’t have achieved what I wanted if I’d tried to work and play in even amounts, to catch up with my family and friends – to do all the things I ‘should’ and to live an unlikely existence.
This way of working is certainly not for everyone, and I’m not suggesting you try it if it’s not your MO. I wanted to get a lot done in as quick a time as possible so that I could then do something else with my life/career.
My sights were set very clearly on the prize, which was a lifestyle that I imagined was possible for me and my partner.
The last five years. Still unbalanced?
The last five years I’ve changed my focus. Having achieved much of what I’d wanted I turned my full-tilt, do whatever it takes, energy to other things. I’ve been getting fitter and healthier than I’ve been all my life. I’ve made more time for family and friends. I spend more time studying the areas of business that I next want to master.
Does that mean I’m balanced? Again, if balance is an even distribution of my time and energy then NO! I’m totally unbalanced. I spend more time working, creating, learning than I do on lots of other areas. I spend more time exercising than I probably need to but that’s because I have goals in that area of life that I haven’t had before.
Beat the Balance Myth – My philosophy
I know a lot of women who work hard growing a business, managing a family and a home and feeling like they need more balance. But I don’t think it’s balance they need. I think it’s just doing more of what they love, of what makes them happy.
I think it’s having a clear picture of where you are heading and what they want life to be like (regardless of how life looks today). I think it’s about taking time to do small things that matter to you e.g. getting a manicure, spending 30 minutes talking aimlessly with a friend, walking a dog, taking a day off – just because you feel like it!
Sometimes it’s just about checking that one thing off your list that you’ve been procrastinating doing (and as a result of completing you free up life force that was stuck on that incomplete item).
Relax. Take a breath. Get present to what is going on around you. Get big and design the future.
And let me know how you go and what I can do to support you. Feel free to leave your comments here.
