Tell them you think they’re dreaming

How to lose a customer in 9 easy lessons…

1. Ignore those pushy customers who keep trying to get your attention when you’ve got important paperwork to do. And definitely don’t make eye contact.
2. Don’t stress about phone messages and emails – if they really want something, they’ll try again, won’t they?
3. Pay no attention when they say they need something in a hurry – that’s their problem, not yours. If they can’t plan properly, what can you do?
4. Tell them they’re dreaming if they think the products you advertised will all be available. They’ll just have to wait.
5. Staff morale is important, so of course they can have lunch together. Customers should know not to come at lunchtime when there’s hardly anyone to help them.
6. If the customer isn’t happy with your product or service, tell them to chill out– there are plenty more where they came from.
7. If they really seem worried, have a laugh – that should help them to get over it.
8. If they’re still being unreasonable, try raising your voice a little.
9. And if all else fails, tell them what they want to hear, even if it’s not exactly true. If it goes pear shaped down the track, that’s someone else’s problem.