Is your resistance getting in the way of your progress?

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Her Business

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Earlier this week I had an opportunity to watch my behaviour and my ability to get in my own way.

It was one of those times when you watch yourself, hear yourself and have enough awareness to realise what’s happening.. but do not necessarily have the ability to stop yourself.

Let me explain… On Tuesday I had a personal training session with the owner of the gym I go to. I was running early so decided to go for a 30minute run before the workout. This was a BAAAD idea. When I returned from the run and read the workout he had planned for me my heart dropped. I had just spent 30-mins running, I was tired, and this workout sounded horrific… long, tough, and I knew it would push me beyond where I wanted to be pushed. I made these decisions before I even started the workout:

  1. I was not going to have fun
  2. I would ‘do my best’ (which in this instance meant I’d just get through it)
  3. If I was struggling enough (or taking too long) maybe he’d let reduce the number of rounds or reduce the difficulty level

I was going to resist… and fight. And here’s what happened.

Within a few minutes of the workout I was feeling tired and wishing I didn’t have to be there.Very intuitively my trainer said to me: “Know that I’m not going to let you not finish this.”

Darn! Now I was stuck. So… I very cleverly (or so I thought) developed these symptoms:

  • Cramps – First my right calf screamed in pain so much I had to stop what I was doing and get my leg stretched to reduce the pain. Then, both legs cramped. Now I had to stop for a couple of min to recover. (The embarrassment of being THAT person in the gym that was needing help didn’t matter. What mattered more was that I was getting my way… in a stupid self-destructive way).
  • Mind chatter – My mind chatter was loud and clear: “This is stupid” “This is hard” “I don’t want to do this”.
  • Incompetence – I couldn’t perform these exercises (though I’d done them before) with any level of skill
  • Injury – I managed to split my hand doing pullups (but I had only completed 1.5 rounds of pullups and had to do the other 1.5 rounds with a cut hand)

At one point (between gasps for air) the LIGHT BULB went off. I could now see what I was doing.

I was resisting what I had started out to do!

My goal, of course, was to enjoy working out with a professional who was supporting me to do what I had set out to do – to exercise to improve my performance, to work myself hard.

My resistance was getting in the way! As soon as I realised it I decided I needed to stop what I was doing (self-destructing) and decide what to do next. I decided I wasn’t going home until I finished the workout and to ‘suck it up’ and keep going. I finished the workout (yes, my time was terrible but I finished)… Here was my lesson: No.. it wasn’t that I shouldn’t go to the gym. ;-) The lesson was that I had made a decision: Go to gym and do workout. But… I was resisting rather than staying with the commitment I’d made and really doing what it took to complete the job as successfully as I possibly could. RESISTANCE IN YOUR BUSINESS – IS IT COSTING YOUR  SUCCESS? Here’s what resistance looks like in business:

  • Quitting – Pretending you didn’t really want something
  • Manifestations – e.g. problems, staff issues, mistakes made that could have been foreseen
  • Going off course – spending time on busyness rather than business
  • Physical pain/illness – getting sick by working yourself too hard/ignoring your body’s needs
  • Resignation – Giving up (sometimes that comes with pretending you didn’t want something)

And here are some remedies for self-destructive resistance:

  • Take action – taking action (any one small action) closer to the goal can lift your mood and give you a sense of accomplishment if you recognise that you HAVE taken a s
  • Get support – A coach that won’t let you give up, a peer support group who will share your goals with you and keep you accountable. And, trust those you’ve entrusted to support you.
  • Keep Your Word – If you make a deal with yourself, keep it. Stay committed until the end.
  • Go with the flow – Resistance will show it’s face – but don’t harm yourself (physically, emotionally, spiritually) in the process of resisting

Three days later the calf that was cramping is still sore… and I’m sure that’s because I need to get this lesson and to be reminded of it. I’m sure the pain will be gone by tomorrow. It had just been hanging around till I wrote this post to share the lesson. Cheers Suzi P.S. If anything in this post resonates with you, let me know by adding a comment. P.P.S. @blairsinger shared on twitter this week “You have the ability to override your brain’s negative dialogue that distracts you from your pursuits”.  LVM, pg 154 – http://bit.ly/iGekM FYI – Here’s the workout: 3 rounds of:

About the Author

Hi there. I’m Suzi Dafnis, CEO at HerBusiness. My BIG passion is helping women business owners to grow and scale their business, so that they can create their ideal lifestyle and make a difference in the world. Every day I am inspired by the more than 30,000 amazing women (and...