Our society believes success and happiness are mutually exclusive; you can’t have both. The problem, however, is not that the two are incompatible but that we have skewed ideas about what they mean. We measure success in terms of income and possessions, and think happiness is simply about feeling good. A more authentic definition, though, gives both terms the same meaning: personal fulfilment and a level of financial independence that gives us the power to make choices. One of the biggest hindrances to success and happiness is that we follow social expectations — we fall into careers based on income, are out-of-touch with life’s simple pleasures and are too busy keeping up with the Joneses to accumulate real wealth. I hope these three points invite you to question your priorities.
1. Follow your bliss
American mythologist Joseph Campbell coined this phrase in the 1970s. Some people mistakenly thought he was telling us to do whatever makes us feel good. What he really meant, however, is that we need to follow the path that has been waiting for us our whole lives, the path that reveals the true “you” and leads to the type of satisfaction we can sustain. Thinking about work, it means choosing something you’re good at and will leap out of bed every morning to do … a job you were born to do. For most of us, this means forging our own path instead of the road well-travelled, which often means starting our own small businesses and bucking the social trends. It may also mean making a few sacrifices for our greater good, such as:
- Taking a pay cut
- Working part-time
- Moving to a new location
- Giving up some of the luxuries we take for granted
- Taking a different path to our friends.
2. Know what really makes you happy
Somewhere along the line, we’ve been tricked into thinking the ability to buying whatever our hearts desire will make us happy. However, evidence suggests otherwise. According to George MacKerraon, an environmental economist at the London School of Economics and the inventor of the Mappiness iPhone app, the four things that make us happiest are:
- Sex
- Going to a concert or art exhibition
- Exercise
- Gardening.
Wow, I bet at least three of those surprised you! Happiness is also biological. Oxytocin, a hormone often called the “cuddle chemical”, is boosted when we touch loved ones — a romantic partner, child, friend or pet. It also reduces stress, pain and social fears. And finally, happiness is a choice. You may have heard of Bronnie Ware, the palliative care nurse who recorded her patients’ deathbed regrets. She lists “I wish that I had let myself be happier” in the top 5 regrets. So how do you choose to be happy?
- Be grateful for what life has blessed you with
- Get out of your comfort zone and take risks
- Laugh and indulge in the odd bit of silliness.
3. Use your money wisely
In your mind, picture a millionaire. What does he or she look like? A Paris Hilton look-alike in 6 inch Christian Louboutin heels? A James Bond playboy picking up the ladies in his convertible sports car? Nothing could be further from the truth, according to Thomas J Stanley and William D Danko in their bestseller, The Millionaire Next Door. Here’s the basic profile of the average millionaire. They:
- Live below their means to build their fortune
- Drive an average car, which is parked at an average house in an average suburb
- Run their own business in a decidedly unglamorous field … think welding, pest control or stamp dealing
- Have an excellent tertiary education, but didn’t go to a private school
- Work 9 to 11 hours a day and invest 20% of their take home pay.
At first glance, you’d never guess these people were wealthy … in fact, you could almost be forgiven for thinking they’re boring! However, they’re actually very clever because they’ve both escaped and trumped the rat race. We live in a society where we use the “stuff” we own to signify our social status and, thus, dictate our self-worth. The message is simple — I have granite bench tops, drive a luxury car and wear designer clothes, so I’m a better person than you. However, this is the fastest way to get deeply in debt. You know the Joneses we desperately try to keep up with? They’re bankrupt! They don’t own those material possessions, the bank does and they’re paying 20% interest to maintain a façade. Financial security comes from refusing to play the game, from choosing to live modestly today to retire early and enjoy the benefits for the rest of your life.
