I’m frequently reminded of the importance of saying ‘no’ in favour of giving space to the things I want to say ‘yes’ to … but I do find it quite challenging. Particularly when so many of the things I say ‘yes’ to still fit within my strategic focus. It’s easy to say ‘no’ when you’re clear that something doesn’t get you closer to your goals… but how do you say ‘no’ when it’s something you really want to do? In a recent blog post, Scott Gould provides what he calls ‘a lesson in no’ via Rich Quick (as an aside – is this guy destined for greatness with a name like that or what?!?). Rich’s key point is that he often wants to say ‘yes’ to help out a client or friend, to get a sale over the line, or ultimately to be nice. I relate to that. Big time. The problem is, when you say ‘yes’, the things that are already on your plate often suffer. An existing project is delayed, you compromise your service delivery or prices, or, more often-than-not in my case, I end up working too late into the night, affecting my sleep and therefore mood, tolerance, productivity, and worse-of-all, my relationships. As Rich argues, when you say YES to things you should say NO to, you let people (or yourself) down. Saying ‘no’ to everything that isn’t 100% ‘it’ for you right now is a powerful way to deliver quality … and to maintain your own personal sanity. Saying ‘no’ then also needs to include saying ‘no’ to the parts of your business that aren’t your core strength. Up until now, I’ve always written all my own marketing copy. I think it’s good … and many people tell me I write well. But I’ve recently hired a copywriter to re-write my website copy. Oh. My. Goodness. The difference she is making is extraordinary and makes me realise that whilst I may be ‘good’ at something doesn’t mean I am the ‘best’ person for the job. So how do you know what to say ‘yes’ to in your business?
- Develop what my colleague, Robin Dickinson, calls a ‘Diamond Focus’ for yourself within your business. What is THE thing in your business that YOU do best and that yields the best return on investment?
- Get very clear – crystal in fact – on what that thing involves. If it’s writing, for example, writing what? when? for whom? where?
- Recognise that all other things fall outside of that diamond focus… and therefore, need to be treated with appropriate ‘lower-priority’. Outsource or delegate as much ‘other-stuff’ as possible. What you can’t, deal with it as effectively and efficiently as possible to minimise ‘lost’ time.
How then do you say ‘no’?
- Practise. Yes, for most of us it’s awkward to say ‘no’ at first but we can get the hang of it. I’m often reminded of the clarity of intent of a toddler. When asked to do something that doesn’t suit him right now he has no qualms with saying ‘no’ (repeatedly in fact). As frustrating as those ‘nos’ are for parents, we would do well to learn from them toddlers are VERY reluctant to let anything distract them from their ‘current’ priority.
- Offer other options. Recommend another provider, suggest another solution, or, if it is something you can do but you can’t do it ‘now’, offer an alternative schedule – “I’d be happy to help you with that, however, my schedule is full for the next 3 weeks.”
- Be clear on your scheduling comittments. A friend recently started adding appointments to her diary not only for the actual meetings she needed to attend, but also preparation time and ‘action-time’ afterwards. Knowing that out of any meeting would arise a series of tasks / follow-up, she now blocks out the time in her diary to do that at the time of scheduling the meeting. That means she can’t get so booked up that she doesn’t have time to ‘do the work’ that arises from the meeting.
Ultimately, saying ‘no’ requires clarity – clarity of intent, clarity of available resources and clarity of what you’re willing to do (and what you’re not willing to compromise on). As a friend recently put it to me, as I was contemplating saying ‘no’ to something I felt passionate about yet still felt conflicted about the time committment required, “Who would you prefer to be letting down? Those particular people or yourself and your family?” What do you think? How do you say ‘no’? And how do you know what to say ‘no’ to?
