Most people can agree that creating a new website is possibly one of the most challenging activities a small business person ever undertakes. There are so many aspects to consider, including creativity, functionality, content, key words, search engine maximisation, costs and timing, just to name a few. I recently discovered that finding one service provider who is able to effectively balance and deliver on all of these factors, is like looking for a needle in the haystack, and that it feels just as frustrating. The problem is that anyone I speak to about the challenges involved in creating a new website just rolls their eyes, in frustration and then relates their own, emotionally charged, horror story. Some of us work to the principle that everyone comes from the best intention, however, it seems that many service providers deeply challenge this assumption!
Take for example my recent experience; the website designer wooed and seduced me into agreeing to an incredibly creative solution.
Six months later, still, with lots of technical flaws, my website, www.imaginenation.co.il was finally launched. During this time, I had to cope with a series of difficult and reactive emotions around dealing with someone who behaved in a way that I despised: an inefficient, unreliable, slippery and avoidant business person, who not only never read anything I sent him, but argued, opposed and undermined me whenever I asked for what I wanted. Needless to say, it was an emotional rollercoaster and for the first time ever, I had to engage the services of a mediator to ensure that the job got done! What did I learn and how could I have handled it differently? I have shared this scenario because it illustrates a set of my most deep-seated, and largely invisible, biases. I attributed my website designers behaviour to fixed personality traits (i.e. “irresponsible”, “unreliable” and “avoidant”), rather than considering behaviour within the constraints of the situation. In reality:
- I lacked full awareness of my service provider’s real situation. Most of the time, we usually have incomplete information about the constraints other people face. In his case, I discovered that he was unacknowledged dyslexic, technically incompetent (and good at hiding it) and completely lacking in business acumen. I also discovered that he was severely financially challenged, which meant that he had to take on other projects to supplement his income whist he was working on mine, which constantly compromised his ability to deliver as promised.
- I had unrealistic expectations.
- I made a series of exaggerated assessments of his behaviour.
- Evidence shows that when we have a lot on our plates, our mind becomes overloaded, and we fail to revise mistakes. In my situation, I became as “angry as hell”, blamed him for everything and regarded him as the really ‘bad guy’.
What can you do to avoid some of these frustrating and emotionally charged moments, when overload becomes overwhelm?
- Take a moment to really be present to the reality of the situation, before giving them the assignment, ask your service provider questions about their business acumen, their technical competence and their professional and financial situations. Make sure that you dig deeply under the surface to find out what is really going on for them; make the time to build empathy and trust.
- Reflect deeply as to whether this service provider is able to do what they say they can. Be clear as to the costs and benefits’ of using someone who may be incredibly creative, but is not technically savvy, and make an astute judgement as to whether to use them, or not.
- Agree a set of rules for the engagement or contract, to clearly establish what acceptable behaviour is and what isn’t, around timelines, costs and communication. Be clear about the rewards and the consequences when things ‘go wrong’.
Who knows, next time, you might find a fabulous service provider and get what you want without having to deal with an emotional rollercoaster, a mediator and lose 6 months like I did!
