Congratulations – you are having a baby! This is going to be one of the most exciting times of your life. I don’t think there is such a thing as an ‘expert’ on being a working mother – because all of us find it hard. And that goes in waves: sometimes it’s harder than others. But I guess I could say I have some good ‘qualifications’ for giving you some advice as I have twin daughters, I am a single mum and I have been since I went back to work when they were nine months old. I also built a big corporate career, working full time, when my girls were small.
Did I have any idea what I was in for when I fell pregnant?
Not at all! I wish someone had clued me in a bit more; I wish that all the books I read had been about more than just baby routines and dealing with colic. I wish someone had advised me about the work part – how do you do it, what sort of decisions do I have to make, what can I do before I have the baby (or babies) that will make it easier for me for later?
Maybe this is your first baby, or maybe you’ve been there before – perhaps you weren’t working then, or maybe your employer didn’t offer parental leave, so the whole matter of how to take your leave and then think about going back to work just wasn’t an issue for you. But, if your new baby is due on or after 1st January 2011, you’ll be one of the first mums to benefit from the new Government Paid Parental Leave (PPL) scheme, entitling you to a maximum of 18 weeks paid leave from work.
First of all, think about the three big issues about having a career break, having your baby and then going back to work – and how you’re going to tackle them:
- Income – how much do you need? Plan your baby budget both before the baby is born, during your leave and when you go back to work.
- Childcare – what plans do you have, who’s going to do what for and with the baby, what are your contingency tactics?
- Career/Life plans – what do you want to do in, say, the next five years? How can you make it happen? Who are your stakeholders, your customers and cheerleaders?
Before you leave to have your baby:
- Have some honest conversations at home with your partner, around such issues as who will return to work and when? Full or part time? What are the financial implications of these decisions? Where does our relationship fit into all of this and what’s our plan for the future?
- Talk to your manager about your plans and what you’re hoping to do at the end of your PPL. You want other people who are colleagues, superiors and just people in the business with influence to know BEFORE you go on leave that you are serious about your job and that you plan to come back and really focus on your career.
- Think about how you want to keep in touch with work while you’re out on leave – with whom will you stay connected, how much contact do you want or need, dependent on your job?
- In preparation for your parental leave – I encourage you to find another working mother in the organisation who can mentor you through your pregnancy and time away. It’s going to be very comforting for you if you can talk to someone about balancing work and motherhood who has done it all before – so I encourage you to seek someone out in your workplace who you can talk to who is already a successful working Mum – and ideally someone who you know!
And some steps to take before going back to work:
- Review the goals and plans you set before leaving for parental leave. What has changed? How do you feel now?
- Think long and hard about whether you will return to work full time or part time and what each of these will mean to you and your family, financially, emotionally and physically! There are many advantages and disadvantages to both work options, but you have to work out a plan that suits you best.
- Think again about those three big issues:
- Income – how much do you need?
- Childcare – what plans do you have?
- Career/Life plans – what do you want to do?
- Working full time obviously puts you back into your existing position but you may have to think about your emotional state of mind and you obviously need to organise full time child care.
- Working part time or flexibly means you can counter this balance but there is a lot of juggling going on and there may still be the need for child care. You also need to think about what you will do if your child is sick.
- Ideally, two months before you go back, advise your employer of your expected return to work date. Set a time to discuss with your manager your return to work plan. Discuss with your manager what your new work arrangement will be – if it is flexible, what will be your hours and workplace arrangements?
- Discuss with your manager what your job description will look like, if your role has slightly changed to counter your flexible arrangements or reduced hours and what your new performance plan will look like. Find out what has happened within the team.
But is it worth it? In a recent emberin survey, we spoke to working mums on a popular social networking site and they told us that these are their top ten reasons for wanting to return to work, aside from the financial considerations and cash benefits of being back in the workplace. They told us:
“It’s tough! There are so many balls and sometimes, yes – they get dropped! But it’s worth it.”
And here’s why:
- I get to be a person in my own right rather than just somebody’s wife and mother.
- For me, my work ‘defines’ who I am. I like doing what I do and feel that that person is more ‘me’ than being a mum is. Don’t get me wrong, of course I love my kids to bits but I can’t just be a mum, I need to be this other person too.
- It gives me economic independence – and a safety net in case something goes wrong in the future – we all hope it won’t, but never say never.
- I love my job and I want to progress in it – it’s why I went to university and I like feeling that I can make a difference and use my brain.
- I see the intense child rearing period of 5-7 years too big a chunk of time to not keep up to date, and too small a chunk of time to be my new full time occupation.
- I work three days a week, which helps me to keep my skills up to date and relevant –
- and that means that when I am at home, I’m more patient and appreciative of the time with my kids!
- I honestly think my daughter benefits from being at nursery – she has so much fun with the other kids and they get to do all that messy stuff with paints and sand there rather than in my house!
- I love the fact that I can act as a role model to my children and show them that Mummies can have great jobs and earn money, as well as Daddies.
- I get to have a cup of tea while it’s still hot!
Can’t argue with that!
