They’re very powerful.
Sometimes we forget just how powerful our words are. Even the shortest sentence can have a huge impact on those around us, both positive and negative.
What we say to people influences how we are perceived, how they feel and how well they work. There is no question that the results currently being achieved in your business can be impacted by what is being said.
We can all relate to a time where we’ve been charging full steam ahead on something only to have someone make a comment that completely takes the wind out of our sails, and our motivation and enthusiasm along with it.
Think about how many conversations you have in a day at work. How effective is your communication? Do you get your point across while empowering people at the same time? Even when the communication is negative?
How often do you finish a conversation only to find that the overall mood has changed, and not for the better? Then you try to turn things around again by finishing off with something positive. It’s difficult once the damage has been done.
So how do we make sure we use our words effectively?
It comes down to presence and conscious awareness. Before you speak try to ask yourself the question; how do I say this without disempowering them? How do I get them to receive negative feedback but still feel empowered and inspired to make the necessary changes? It’s all in the words you use.
Talking comes so naturally to us all we often speak without considering the impact of what we are communicating. Sometimes we just speak without giving any thought to our words. It’s not as conscious a process as it should be.
You can be sure the listener will respond, even if they don’t show it outwardly. Negative words can trigger emotions inside of them that will stay with them for quite some time. It is the same for positive words. Do you recall a time that someone believed in you and told you so? The surge of positive emotions can last for years.
We hear plenty about positive reinforcement and showing gratitude to the people who work for us. We can all list them off; Thank you!, Great job!, Well Done you!… just to name a few. But how about the negative words we use every day?
Think about the words you have heard that have made a lasting negative impact and remove them from your vocabulary altogether.
Here are a few to get you started:
1. I don’t have time for this.
You may be too busy to speak with someone or address a situation in that moment but you need to leave the door open for your staff to want to communicate with you. Telling them that you don’t have time for them is sending a clear message that you do not value them or the work they are doing. If you are pressed for time, politely let them know and schedule a time that they can talk to you.
2. I can’t believe you did that!
We all make mistakes, it is a part of being human. Address the mistake without making the other person feel terrible. Look for solutions not blame. We all learn from our mistakes, it doesn’t need to be a terrible experience.
3. Just do it!
Unless you are running a Nike campaign you can remove this expression from your work vocabulary. Pulling rank and telling a staff member to just do what you say is a sure fire way to close down the communication and any future loyal and trusting relationship. Always take the time to explain why you want something done a particular way.
4. I’m sure you’ll work it out.
If a staff member has asked for your help it is usually because they need it. There is nothing more demoralising for an employee than feeling out of their depth, asking for help and then left to struggle on alone.
5. We’ve always done it this way.
This is not a valid reason to continue to do something a particular way. Maybe your staff member has a better suggestion. A comment like this is dismissive and closed minded. Listen to what they have to say and why they think a new approach could be useful. You may learn something too!
6. That’s not a good idea.
When someone offers a suggestion, it is never appropriate to tell them their idea is no good. The only thing it will achieve is them feeling bad about themselves and a certainty that they will hold back in the future.
Remember, to build a strong, loyal team you need to treat them with courtesy and respect, always. By using open, honest and positive communication they are going to feel empowered enough to talk to you.
