Rewiring your brain? It seems a little ominous but it’s much friendlier and easier than it sounds.
When I first studied behavioural neuroscience back in 1999, I was amazed to learn that we can rewire our brain quite easily. While some primal instincts are hard wired into our brain there are other behavioural patterns that can be changed. Much of it comes under Emotional Intelligence.
In fact, the brain continues to learn and change things as we go through life and learn new things; one of the many benefits to continuous improvement and a reinforcement of why Leaders are always Learning.
We are capable of changing behaviours and reactions that are not in our best interests by creating new neural pathways. It’s how we develop healthy new habits.
A simple example; if you decide to increase your fitness by walking every morning before work it will initially be a drag and something you want to avoid. By getting up early each morning and repeating the same behaviour you soon develop a new neural pathway. The stronger it becomes the more you enjoy it. After a period of time you look forward to getting up and walking. It’s the same in dealing with people in the workplace.
We can modify our behaviour so that we are less irritable, more communicative and getting positive results even in the face of challenging situations.
The following tips can help you to bring about emotional changes to improve your Leadership skills:
Don’t jump to conclusions
When we have a negative emotional response to something someone has said or done it’s easy to come up with reasons to validate our response. Don’t. When we justify our response by making assumptions against the other person it reinforces that negative neural pathway rather than developing a positive new one. Try to remain rational and use only the facts available.
Take some time before responding
Pause to process and observe your own response. We have stress hormones that are released when we are anxious or stressed, let them subside before you take action. You will have a much clearer view of what has actually occurred. The more you practice this behaviour the quicker your calm, objective response will be.
Focus on your breathing
When you are feeling really upset or agitated it’s a good idea to focus on your breathing. Are your breaths shallow? Deep calm breaths actually change the physiology of the stress response. It’s more than an old wives tale, it works.
Don’t obsess over it
It is so easy for us to hit the replay button and go over and over what has occurred. When you find yourself reliving a mistake with thoughts like “I can’t believe I did that”, stop! It only reinforces the negative neural pathway. Replace it with something positive; “Wow! I really learned something valuable there, I know next time I will…”. Make any reflection a positive lesson learned.
Be conscious of the words you are using
If your goal as a leader is to empower other leaders (as it should be) then make sure you are using empowering words. No matter how frustrating the situation. It benefits no one to shred the self-esteem of those you work with. As you empower them and work through their mistakes with a positive spin you will benefit them, the team and ultimately your business. Empathy is a great tool for a leader.
Objective assessment of what is happening will reduce negative, emotive reactions and increase positive, open communication. Awareness of your own responses to challenging situations will give you the opportunity to make the desired changes. It will also develop your leadership skills on many levels. Happy re-wiring!
