There is no question that as professional women there will be times that we need to voice our opinion, to speak up and stand our ground. To be able to do so with confidence requires us to be assertive.
Assertiveness is a necessary skill if we are going to get ahead in business or in our career. We need to voice opinions that goes against the suggestion of others, it’s unavoidable. Being able to assert yourself is not only good for your confidence it is also good for your business.
Stating our opinion confidently doesn’t require us to come across as aggressive, which is what many of us fear. There is a big difference between the two.
So what is the difference between Assertion and Aggression?
Assertive people are respectful of others and their opinions while calmly stating their own. They have no hidden agenda. They respectfully listen to others and consider what they have to say. Their goal is to find a solution or outcome that leaves everyone satisfied.
Aggressive people on the other hand have no respect for the opinion or feelings of others, they see only their own point of view and will push until it’s accepted. They are poor listeners, they interrupt, talk over others and may even resort to anger and verbal attacks. Their goal is to dominate others for their own agenda.
Showing assertive behaviour will earn you the respect of the people you are dealing with, you will come across as confident and sure of what you’re saying.
There is no place for aggression in leadership. Full stop. Apart from the fact that it is disrespectful and intimidating to others, it is counterproductive to the success of the business. Staff do not stick around when they feel unimportant and disrespected.
As women, there are times that we are labelled as aggressive simply by asserting ourselves. It’s important that you know the difference and conduct yourself accordingly. Don’t retreat because you are being called aggressive, you need to voice your opinion.
As with most feedback, consider the source. Review your own behaviour and consider their position. Were you unnecessarily forceful or direct? Did your communication suit the occasion and the situation? Do you need to adjust your communication to suit the people you are dealing with? Speak with others whose opinions you value, ask them if you come across as aggressive at times.
Leadership comes down to communication and relationships. We cannot lead others if we can’t communicate well. Sharing our vision, purpose and mission is vital, others will only buy in if they understand and resonate with what you are saying. If you are fearful of being honest you can’t build strong authentic relationships. Most people would rather deal with a leader who is honest and direct than polite but non communicative.
Assertion will help you to reach the goals you are aiming for. It is a vital ingredient in confidence. If you would like more tips on boosting confidence you can download our free Confidence eBook here.
It is always better to voice your opinion rather than passively withdraw from the conversation. Even when it’s not a pleasant situation, you need to speak up, assertively!
