Core Mentoring Skills

Core Mentoring Skills

Active Listening
As its name suggests, actively listening involves fully concentrating on what is being said rather than just passively ‘hearing’ the message of the speaker. Active listening involves listening with all senses – not only means focusing fully on the speaker but also actively showing verbal and non-verbal signs of listening. By providing this ‘feedback’ the person speaking will usually feel more at ease and therefore communicate more easily, openly and honestly.

Examples of verbal and non-verbal active listening cues:

• Maintaining eye contact, nodding your head and smiling, agreeing by saying ‘Yes’ or simply ‘Mmm hmm’ to encourage the speaker to continue.
• Allowing for pauses and short periods of silence, not being tempted to jump in with questions or comments every time there are a few seconds of silence.

Paraphrasing
Paraphrasing focuses on listening first and then reflecting the two parts of the speaker’s message – fact and feeling – back to the speaker. Often the fact is clearly stated. A good listener listens for the messages between the lines that communicate the feeling part of what was said. Using this skill is a way to check the accuracy and understanding of what you have heard.
Examples for paraphrasing fact:
“So you’re saying that….”
“You believe that….”
“The problem is….”
Examples for paraphrasing feeling:
“You feel that…”
“Your reaction is …”
“So that left you feeling….”

Open-ended Questions
Open-ended questions are intended to collect information by exploring feelings, attitudes, and how the other person views the situation. To maintain an active dialogue without interrogation, use questions that cannot be easily answered with a “yes”, “no” or “I don’t know”.
Examples of open-ended questions:
“How do you see the situation?”
“What are your reasons for ….”
“Can you give me an example?”
“How does this effect you?”
“How did you decide that?”
“What would you like to do about it?”
“What part did you play?”
“How is that working for you?”

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